


Too Late

by ziiam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-01-04 20:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziiam/pseuds/ziiam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys find out Zayn is engaged to Perrie and Liam's world comes crashing down</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He stares at his hands numb with shock, the ringing in his ears only getting louder.

“ _Engaged?_ ” Niall is on his feet, hands clenched to the sides.

“Yes” Zayn whispers looking everywhere but at their faces.

“What the fuck Zayn” Harry breathes out.

“You knew about this didn’t you?!” Niall turns to Louis accusingly.

Louis nods mutely, rubbing his hand on Zayn’s back as though comforting him, when Liam is the one who feels like he’s falling, like the ground beneath him is giving way and he is falling and weightless.

“Why’d you agree to it?” Niall’s voice is shrill, indignant and angry, so so angry.

Zayn flinches as though physically hit. Liam just stares, numb.

“It’s not so simple.” Zayn murmurs voice barely audible.

“Well then explain!” Niall inches closer to where Zayn is seated with Louis beside him.

“Mate, calm down.” Louis looks up pleadingly. He shoots a glance at Liam, eyes full of worry but Liam can’t _feel_ anything. What is wrong with him?

“Liam say something!” Niall whirls around, eyes flaming, cheeks red.

Zayn looks up from the spot he is staring at the ground and their eyes meet for a brief painful moment and Liam looks away as though burned.

“Liam?” Zayn’s voice is soft.

“I- congratulations.” His own voice sounds foreign to his ears, detached and cold.

“ _What?_ Payno you can’t support this madness! He’s lost his head, he can’t fucking get married for publicity! _Tell him!_ ” Niall is hysterical.

“Niall” Louis’ voice holds a subtle warning.

“You knew” Harry speeks up, calm, and Louis’ eyes shoot to him, “you knew and you didn’t tell me- _us_ ”

“He wanted to tell you all himself.” Louis is defensive, “this is his life, his choice.”

“Fuck his choice” Niall paces around, anger coursing through his veins, “why the fuck couldn’t you stop him!”

“He’s a grown man Niall and fucking calm down.” Louis snaps.

Niall scoffs, “A grown man who’s agreed to a fake engagement, yeah sure.”

“Do you really think Zayn’s taken the right decision Liam?” Harry turns to him, green eyes piercing with a hint of anger (so rarely seen) beneath them.

_Damnit_ , why can’t he _think_?

“Yeah” Liam answers as though on autopilot, “whatever makes him happy.”

_Stupid shaking hands_.

He feels Harry’s burning stare as he looks at his feet, knows Harry can see right through him, how he is numb and breaking apart at the same time.

Zayn remains slumped on the sofa leaning on to Louis, not saying anything, not looking at anyone.

Niall, happy go lucky, carefree Niall, who now is so angry he can’t stand still, pins him with a scorching glare, “Fuck Payno, thought you were the sensible one. Isn’t that what they labelled you as?”

His numbness is giving away to a dull ache, somewhere in his chest, throbbing, pulsing, pushing at his eyes. Nothing is making sense. Why is he feeling like someone ripped out his heart, when he should be up there with Niall, pacing with fury on behalf of Zayn and at his stupidity? Why is he hurting so much, why can’t he think, why is there a strange pressure behind his eyes?

“I- “ _why_ is his vision getting blurry? “He can make decisions for himself” he gasps out. Shit, _is he crying?_

“Liam? Mate, are you alright?” Harry places a concerned hand on his shoulder as tears threaten to spill out of his eyes.

He needs to get out of this room, fuck he needs to run; from everyone, from _Zayn_ , before he sees the heartbreak, betrayed look in Liam’s eyes. Because after all, they are just best friends, and why would you be heartbroken if your mate gets engaged? It makes no sense.

“I- I need to go.” He stammers out, rushing blindly for the door, ignoring the concerned calls of his bandmates.

 

 

He stands in front of his bathroom mirror gripping the sink tightly, his knuckles going white.

“He’s engaged.” He whispers to himself, unable to stop the tears, flowing freely now.

Life has always been funny with him. He was the sick kid, the one who needed to go to the hospital every week, he was the bullied kid, had to take up boxing lessons to defend himself, auditioned for the x factor, only to be rejected the first time. It hasn’t exactly been a smooth ride up to this point.

He snorts derisively at himself. Now he is the boy who realized he had always been in love with his best friend. And what a convenient time to realize it too.

“ _Fuck”_ he cries pressing the lower ends of his palms to his eyes. What is he going to do now?

He splashes some water on his face, hoping it would bring a sense of clarity.

“ _I’m an idiot_.” He is, isn’t he?

It was common knowledge that Zayn has always been in love with him. Fuck, even the _fans_ knew that. It has been so blindingly obvious.

But of course he had to be a coward, too scared to acknowledge Zayn’s feelings. It was all easier when he didn’t think about him, when he was with Danielle like he was supposed to be. Life was so easy when he just ignored how his heart rate sped up when Zayn touched him, how sometimes he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Zayn’s face, how he imagined licking those tattoos on his collar bones, how at times he wanked to the thought of those pouty lips stretched around his cock.

“ _Fucking idiot_ ” he digs his nails into his palms.

He wishes he could take time back, that he hadn’t been such a wimp, he wishes he’d realized how much Zayn meant to him earlier, and not when he is about to get _engaged_.

“It’s all fake. For the papers, for publicity” he tells himself.

Is it really though?

Zayn and Perrie had started off as a ploy by modest management to promote X factor UK’s latest creation, a girl band called Little Mix.

They had all been dismissive of it in the beginning, including himself.

But lately… even though he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, Zayn and Perrie have definitely grown closer. He has noticed how their touches linger longer than necessary, how they hang out even when there are no cameras, how she has a glow on her face whenever she is with him.

Perrie has always been in love with Zayn, (because really who wouldn’t love Zayn) but Liam had always been so sure that Zayn never reciprocated her feelings, until _now_.

What if this fake engagement, leads to a potentially real marriage?

His heart thuds in his chest, he can’t fathom the thought, can’t imagine Zayn marrying someone else.

He almost doesn’t hear the soft knock on the door, before Harry walks in, his hair messily tucked into a beanie and eyes full of worry.

He takes one look at Liam and walks over to him in two steps, wrapping him in his long arms.

Liam lets Harry hold him, burying his face in Harry’s sweater.

“It’s not real” Harry whispers in his hair.

“But it’s too late.” Liam hiccups through tears, “too late.”

Harry doesn’t respond to that. Just holds on tighter as Liam cries.


	2. Chapter 2

“So I’m guessing you told them then” Perrie says taking a sip of her coffee with her purple lipstick clad lips.

Zayn nodes mutely and promptly drops his head into his arms with a groan.

“Aww” Perrie coos, rubs his arm soothingly, “I’m also guessing it didn’t go well?”

Zayn raises his head to give her a miserable look and she sighs and withdraws her hand.

They are at a coffee shop in London, for a ‘date’ and surrounded by paparazzi from outside desperately trying to get pictures of them through the glass of the café. Modest always makes sure to tip off all the popular dailies and magazines of their whereabouts, always ahead of the game their management company is.

“It was terrible! Niall went mental, wouldn’t even talk to me for a day.” Zayn mumbles sipping on his black coffee.

“Didn’t you tell them that it’s just an engagement for the _PR_ , it’s not actually real” Perrie reasons flipping her blonde hair behind her shoulder.

“They know that, but Pez it’s a fucking _engagement_. Like it’s a big fucking deal and I didn’t fucking give them a forewarning about it! Of course they are going to be upset!” Zayn grits out, frustrated.

“Hey, hey,” She has a bright smile on her face that can fool any by stander, “we’re in public Malik, get rid of that pout and look happy. You’re with your fiancée now”

If anything that makes Zayn pout more and he earns a quick sharp pinch from Perrie, “Oww!” he grumbles snatching his arm from her grip and reluctantly plasters a fake half smile on his face. Stupid cameras.

“You’re quite vicious for a woman so tiny.” He complains through his smile.

“One of my many talents” her smile widens.

“So, what did Liam say” She asks after a beat of silence, with a carefully guarded look on her face.

Zayn feels himself tense up, Liam is always a touchy subject for him, “He was quite supportive actually, congratulated me and all that.”

If Perrie is surprised by that response she hides it. Liam and Perrie have always had an undercurrent of mutual dislike from the very beginning. Zayn has tried to make sense of it, really has, he’s tried to think of occasions which warranted Liam’s dislike for Perrie but he couldn’t come up with any. She is a nice girl, warm and genial and quite a people’s person actually. So it’s quite strange of Liam to look through her whenever they meet.

He doesn’t get why Perrie isn’t too keen on Liam either. Of course she knows he’s in love with Liam, guessed it within a week into their fake relationship, but that isn’t any reason for her to dislike Liam. It’s not like she has any feelings for Zayn, right?

An uneasy feeling creeps into his chest at that thought, he can deny it as much as he wants but lately Perrie’s behaving differently, like maybe, maybe she likes him a little more than she claims to.

He shakes his head to rid himself of that thought, that’s one more complication he definitely doesn’t need.

“He’s been okay about it I guess. I haven’t seen him for two days though, he’s missed rehearsals.”

“Oh” that’s all her response is.

“I don’t get why they’re so upset about it, it’s not like we’re going to get married, and I’m friends with all of them too, if anyone at least it’s me you’re fake engaged to.” Perrie says eyes slightly downcast.

“They’re not upset at _you_ , it’s me they’re angry with. Not Louis because obviously he knew it before, but Niall and Harry have been… distant, I haven’t spoken to Liam in two days and it fucking sucks.”

Perrie sighs, “I know and I’m so sorry for all of this. We signed a contract, we have to do it, it’s not like we have a choice. They’re your mates, they should understand your position too.”

Zayn wants to disagree. They did have a choice, it’s not like they’re puppets with strings attached, made to do whatever their company tells them to. They both were sat down and informed about this, asked if they would go through with it.

In any other circumstance, Zayn would’ve flatly refused. Not a chance in hell, he would’ve said.

But lately, Liam had been getting rather cosy with a girl. He thought after Danielle, Liam wasn’t ready for another relationship, but Sophia had been coming to their rehearsals and hanging off Liam’s arm.

It was like watching it all over again, Danielle part two.

And that rage and heartburn had driven him to accept the stunt. He decided to go through with it because really, nothing mattered anymore. Liam will keep getting new girlfriends right under his pathetic little nose and he’d have to watch and cry his pathetic little self to sleep.

“Zayn” Perrie clicks her fingers in front of his face snapping him out of his reverie, “What were you thinking?”

“Never mind.” He mumbles standing up removing his wallet. He ignores the slight fall in her face as he stands up, overlooks it because really, not right now. He places the money on the table, adding a generous tip because this café has been the venue for many of their previous stunts and he feels guilty for subjecting the staff and the people here to all the madness of the cameras and the nosy paparazzi.

He offers his hand to Perrie, because she’s his fiancée and he’s a gentleman and that’s what he’s supposed to do. She accepts it with a muted smile already knowing that he’s done with this little coffee date of theirs and the disappointment in her face is evident even though she tries hard to mask it. He opens the door to the noisy clicks of the cameras and the blinding flashes and tries his best to guard Perrie from the aggressive reporters and walks quickly towards a waiting cab. His bodyguards form a protective shield around them as he literally drags Perrie (seriously why is she walking so slow?) to the car.

Once inside he breathes out a sigh of relief and takes out his phone to check any missed calls or texts. He has none.

Perrie is silent throughout their ride only occasionally glancing at Zayn who resolutely looks out the window.

The cab comes to a stop outside Perrie’s London flat and after a minute of silence he turns to look at her in confusion because she hasn’t stepped out.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

She lets out a long breath and turns to face him, face solemn, “Zayn, you know I love you very much. You are one of my closest friends and I have always wanted the best for you.” She starts and instantly Zayn is wary, wonders where this is going.

“I know this engagement has been hard on you, especially because your boys haven’t been talking to you and I hate seeing you upset. I just-” her bottom lip starts quivering and Zayn almost begins to panic because why is she crying, no no he can’t deal with girls crying, never could stand to see his sisters weep, “I want to say I’m sorry Zayn, I’m so sorry you have to go through this because of me, and my band and I hate seeing you angry and sad and withdrawn and I don’t want you to hate me for it. Please Zayn.” Her eyes fill up with tears and Zayn feels terrible.

“Pez,” he gathers up her glove clad hands in his and sighs, “of course I don’t hate you, never can. I’m sorry if I’ve been grouchy and miserable and I don’t want you to blame yourself for it. I just need some time, I guess and you know how I get.” He takes her in his arms and rubs her back comfortingly, “Don’t cry love, you’re not so pretty with tear stains down your cheeks.” He jokes.

She half giggles half sniffles into his Mickey Mouse jumper and draws back, eyes red and cheeks blotchy, “Idiot” she mumbles a fond look on her face.

 Zayn feels terrible for hurting her, awkward because he knows Perrie is getting more attached to him than she should, angry because all of this is so unfair, and right now, frankly, it’s all a bit too much for him to deal with.

So he gives her a kiss on the cheek to make up for his aloof behaviour and pretends he doesn’t notice the blinding flash indicating that this moment has just been captured on camera and will probably be plastered on the newspapers tomorrow making them seem even more loved up.

“Call me yeah?” she asks uncertainly as she’s halfway out the cab and Zayn nods.

A smile and she’s walking towards her house and Zayn stares after her and wonders how he’s going to handle all the mess he’s in.

 

\-----------------------

 

“LEEMO!” Niall screams throwing aside the game controller and launches himself at him. Liam gets a face full of blond hair and a vice like grip that knocks out the air off him.

“Where have you been mate?” Louis asks from the couch, “No texts, no calls, it’s like you dropped off the face of the earth.”

“Stop being dramatic, it’s only been three days” Liam laughs rolling his eyes at his bandmates as he untangles himself from Niall’s arms and walks over and plunks himself next to Louis on the couch.

“Three days as in thirty six hours Liam.” Niall states as he takes his place on the other side of Liam.

“Seventy two hours you idiot.” Louis pipes up, with a laugh.

“Whatever.” Niall mumbles picking up the controller and joining the game with Louis, “You missed three days’ worth of rehearsals and didn’t inform us why.” He complains like a little kid.

Liam sighs and tips back his head, resting it on the edge of the couch, “Sorry. Just wanted some alone time I guess.”

“Alone time, that you spent with your new girlfriend I see.” Louis says with no malice in his voice, only teasing glint in his eyes.

Liam bites back a scoff, because yeah he did go out for lunch and dinner dates with Sophia hoping it would distract his mind from the obvious. He’s not really sure how successful he was though, considering he still can’t sleep peacefully at night.

“Whose new girlfriend?” a gravelly voice enters the room and then the TV is being blocked with Harry’s tall gangly frame and he’s staring at Liam completely ignoring Niall indignant squeak.

“Hey man.” Liam smiles meekly, because he had ignored Harry’s calls too. Avoided any interaction with him after that unfortunate bathroom incident when he’d cried like a baby in Harry’s arms.

Harry raises his eyebrows stepping out of the way as Niall aims a kick at his shins and settles down on Louis’ other side.

“Finally graced us with your presence I see?” he speaks up, a slight shade of hurt in his voice.

“He’s had his ‘alone time’ mate, no need to be so harsh.” Louis says with a smirk.

“You and Z with your ‘alone time’, it’s like you’re PMSing teenage girls I swear.” Niall mutters earning a laugh from Louis and a dry chuckle from Harry.

Liam tenses up at the mention of Zayn’s name and he can see from the corner of his eyes that Harry’s eyeing him knowingly, and he knows he owes Harry an apology for his behaviour especially when Harry’s the only one who _knows_.

“I’m sorry” Liam apologises more so to Harry. He wants to explain himself to the others, but knows he can’t, not without telling the truth, and that would not only be embarrassing but awkward too, and no, he just can’t.

Louis throws an arm around Liam’s shoulders abandoning the game and takes him into a faux headlock mussing up his hair.

“Dick.” He says fondly.

Niall giggles and pokes Liam in the sides and Liam can hear Harry’s laugh and he knows he’s been forgiven. It’s so easy, always has been with these boys. _His_ boys.

He smiles, probably his first real smile in three days and pulls himself out of the headlock and lightly punches Louis in the arm.

“Oww!” Louis, ever the drama queen mock screams, “Stop abusing me you hulk.”

Liam is rolling his eyes and snatching the controller from Louis and everything feels a little better.

“Liam?”

Well, maybe he spoke too soon, he thinks as he turns around and there is Zayn standing uncertainly at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me know what you think? :)


	3. Chapter 3

 

Liam follows Zayn outside and the constricting feeling is back in his chest. All this trying to distract himself was pointless, so pointless when Zayn’s in front of him all scruffy and soft with hair in his eyes and in an oversized jumper. He swallows, how is he going to do this?

They walk outside, and come to a stop near their usual smoking spot. Where they always have their heart to hearts, where so many times in the past Zayn has poured out all his frustrations and Liam has only but given him a patient hearing. This is _their_ place, well sometimes Louis is allowed as well, but this is where they both escape, when the rehearsals get to demanding or when it’s all just too much and they want to just be with each other.

But now as Liam watches Zayn lean against the wall, one foot propped bent at the knee, he can’t bear to look at him. Can’t bear to have his heart ache every time he lays eyes on the beautiful raven haired boy.

“Want one?” Zayn asks offering him one from a pack of Marlboros and Liam declines non verbally.

Liam watches Zayn light up and inhale, cheeks hollowing in that wonderfully sinful way and looks away. This is so difficult.

“How’ve you been?” Zayn asks, looking at him, eyes all worried.

“I’m fine mate.” Liam answers evasively, leaning against the wall next to Zayn, careful to keep considerable distance between them.

“Didn’t reply to my messages, thought something was wrong.” Zayn mumbles and Liam notices a slight shade of hurt in his eyes.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Just wanted to spend some quiet time with Sophia.”

He watches Zayn’s eyes cloud over at the mention of Sophia’s name, watches his entire face shut down and feels shamefully vindictive. Why shouldn’t Zayn be subject to the same jealousy and hurt that he’s been feeling the past few days?

“Oh” Zayn’s voice is soft, and his eyes downcast and in an instant Liam’s anger ebbs away. How could he wish anything negative for this boy?

“Sorry mate.” He pacifies, “How’ve you been?”

Zayn sighs, blowing out a ring of smoke and leans his head against the wall. And it’s the first time in days that Liam looks clearly at him, notices the dark circles under his eyes, the sallow, pinched look on his face.

“Not so good man. Just needed you yeah?”

Those words pierce through Liam’s chest. He wants to cry out at the unfairness of it all. _I need you too!_ He wants to grab Zayn’s face and kiss the smoke out of his mouth, he wants to yell in his face till he is hoarse.

“You had Lou, he’s on your side isn’t he?” he is unable to hide the slight malice in his voice, and instantly regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth.

“You aren’t?” Zayn’s asks, eyes wide, hurt and sad.

“I just want what’s best for you. If the engagement is what you want, then go for it.” He’s an excellent liar.

“Li, you know it’s all just one big stunt right?”

 _Then why did you agree to it?_ “Of course.”

“Are we good then?” he looks so uncertain and nervous that Liam’s heart breaks, some for him and some for his own self.

“Yeah mate.” He answers smiling wide. If Zayn notices that the smile doesn’t reach Liam’s eyes, and that Liam doesn’t tackle him in a hug like he normally does, he doesn’t show it.

“Okay.” Zayn smiles, stubbing the cigarette below his heel, “then let’s get to rehearsals yeah?”

Liam nods mutely, and as Zayn throws his arm around his shoulder when they make their way inside, he tries his best not to pull away.

\----

They’re in the middle of rehearsals and Louis and Niall are on the floor wrestling, Harry is lounging in a chair, banana in his mouth and phone in his hand, Zayn is nowhere to be seen, and Liam is the only one rehearsing the choreography (or whatever little of it they follow in their shows). Pretty normal.

Liam’s in the middle of trying to get his falsetto right when he notices a flash of red and suddenly he is being enveloped in a hug and flowery perfume.

“Sophia!” he carefully disentangles her arms from around his neck, surprised, and not pleasantly so.

“Babe,” she smiles placing a smack on his lips, “surprised?”

“Uh- yeah. What’re you doing here?” he’s not trying to be rude.

“Wanted to surprise you. It’s Lily’s birthday so I’m in town for a couple of days. Plus I miss you.” She makes a pouty face, all glossy lips in his face.

He tries his best not to cringe away, she’s lovely, but not right now; no.

“We just spent the past few days together.”

“So?” She pouts more, “Am I not allowed to miss my boyfriend?”

“Of course you are.” He follows that up with a half-hearted smile.

She frowns, her smile dimming a little, “What’s wrong bub?”

He sighs, “Nothing love. Nothing at all. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Love you.” She is on her tip toes placing a wet one on his cheek when Harry comes up behind him and he feels a warm comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Hey Sophia.”

She brightens up at Harry’s cheerful and genuine greeting, “Hey Styles. Looking good with the whole headscarf thing.”

Harry pretends to preen, “Aww, thanks babe. I hope Payno here is not being a trouble.” He adds with a mock glare at Liam.

“Not at all. He’s the most amazing boyfriend ever.” Sophia’s smile is blinding and her grip around him vice-like to him.

“Sophia?”

 _Damn it._ Liam curses his luck when in that very moment Zayn walks inside the studio from his smoke break.

“Malik.” Her greeting is clipped. Liam almost groans, almost.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Zayn’s expression is unreadable.

“Yeah, well I just wanted to surprise my boyfriend. Won’t be here too long.” She answers, stressing on the word boyfriend and all of a sudden the awkward in the room magnifies tenfold.

“Oh.” Zayn’s voice goes soft, noticeable, like always.

“I’ll just be sitting by the sidelines. Won’t keep you guys from the practice.”

 As she disentangles herself from Liam’s arms and goes to sit on one of the seats in the studio, Harry’s voice is a warm whisper in Liam’s ears, “Try to at least look a little happy to see your girl mate.”

Annoyed, Liam shrugs of his hand on his shoulder, “I just need a little space yeah?”

“She’s your _girlfriend_ Payno.” Harry’s eyes are understanding, and Liam knows he’s seeing right through the façade.

“Thanks for the information. Anything else you’d like the point out?” Liam’s not trying to be rude, no he isn’t, he just doesn’t like being reminded of what a big fuck up his life is currently turning into.

He’s with a lovely beautiful girl, who he sort of likes but doesn’t really love. He’s in love with his best mate, who he can feel is slipping away and whom he’s not so sure he has the courage to hold on to.

“Li” Zayn’s soft voice interrupts his self-pitying monologue, and he’s there looking at Liam and Harry with worried eyes.

“Everything alright?” Zayn asks, and all Liam can do is stare at his pink bitten lips and want to take them in his own.

“Yeah, he’s just a little tired from the rehearsals.” And okay, since when was Harry his spokesperson?

“Oh,” Zayn throws a glance at Sophia, who’s busy on her phone, “Yeah.” And with one last indecipherable look at Liam and a, “Let’s take a break guys”, Zayn walks out of the arena.

Liam doesn’t know why he’s following him. Honestly, he doesn’t know half the things he does or thinks of these days, can’t make sense of anything.

So he goes where his feet take him, and ignoring Harry’s stare burning the back of his neck, Liam follows Zayn out.

He walks out to find Zayn sitting cross legged against the wall, head resting and eyes closed. Without a word he walks up to him and sits down beside him.

They sit in comfortable silence for a while before Zayn speaks up.

“You know, when I was little my mum always told me, if you want something badly enough, with all your heart and soul, the universe finds a way of handing it to you. I believed every word she said, and when I was eight every night before going to bed I’d dream of making it big. I’d dream of writing my own songs and people loving them. Who knew, it would actually happen huh?” Zayn turns his head to look at Liam, amber eyes shining.

“Yeah. Crazy innit?” Liam smiles.

“Yeah. I just- sometimes I wonder though…” Zayn trails off eyes drooping down.

“Wonder what?”

“Is everything worth it?”

“Of course it is. Aren’t we living the dream?”

“Are we really Li?” Zayn’s stare burns through him, and he has to look away.

“What do you mean?” Liam mumbles, though he’s not sure he wants Zayn to explain.

Zayn snorts, “You know exactly what I mean.”

“I don’t actually.” Liam sits up straighter, slightly annoyed; annoyed at the fact that they have been dancing around this for so long, skirting around the fact that the boy sitting in front of him has been in love with him since forever.

Zayn laughs, a slow self-pitying laugh, “Keep telling that to yourself Li.”

Liam narrows his eyes.

“I’m tired Li.” And he sounds it, and with his sunken eyes and dishevelled hair, he looks it too.

“All of us are.”

“No, I’m tired of all of this. Everything.”

Liam gaze is sharp, “We have achieved literally everything we’ve ever dreamed about.”

“I didn’t dream about this. About a fake relationship, about being bonded in the shackles of a PR contract, about alienating my best mates, about being perceived as someone I’m not by the public , about wanting something that I’ll never have.”

The words sting Liam, sting his skin, his heart. He digs his nails in the palm of his hands, “You have everything you’ve ever wanted, so come off it. Don’t be so dramatic, you’re not in shackles. If you didn’t want to do the PR stunt, you could’ve always said no.” he spits out.

“It’s not so simple Liam”

“Why?”  Zayn starts at Liam’s raised voice, “If you fucking didn’t want to do it, why’d you say yes? Why’d you agree to this sham?” he can’t control his anger anymore, it’s all tumbling out of him, he can’t seem to stop it.

“You won’t understand.” Zayn mumbles, avoiding his eyes and Liam wants to yank him by the shoulders and force an explanation out of him.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t.” and Liam’s stands up, suddenly done with this conversation and preparing to leave, when Zayn’s hand shoots up to grab his wrist.

His touch is electric, sending a jolt through Liam’s body and he instantly yanks his hand away.

Zayn frowns at that, and stands up too, “Why do you keep running away from me Li?” and he’s stepping closer.

Liam is backed into a wall, trapped, with nowhere to run.

“We’re best mates man. You and me against the world, wasn’t it? Why do you avoid me these days?” Zayn’s eyes look sad.

“I’m not avoiding you. I’m- I’m just trying to give Sophia some time.”

Zayn sighs, and Liam watches him visibly deflate, “You don’t even look that happy with her lately Li.

Liam feels annoyance course through his veins, “You sure look very happy with Perrie.” He says before he can stop himself.

Zayn’s eyes widen at that, “What?” he asks confusedly, “Perrie is one of my best friends, you know that. Nothing more.”

Liam gently pushes Zayn back, avoiding his eyes the entire time, “Yeah, I know. Listen, the others are waiting, we better get back to practice.”

As he steps towards the studio entrance, Zayn grips his shoulder, “What’s wrong Liam? Are you mad at me?” and Liam looks at him and he looks so unsure and defeated, he wants to hug him and deny his fears. But if he hugs him, he’ll want to kiss him, and he just doesn’t know if he has the courage to face everything that will come after it.

“I’m not.” He replies, smiling tightly, “Now let’s go inside.”

He walks back inside, not looking back at Zayn, not wanting to know the expression on his face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terribly sorry for the late update. *Hangs head in shame*. Life caught up with me, and I got busy with stuff.  
> But I've decided to focus on this story now, so I'll try my best to update more frequently and regularly.  
> Feedback is absolute love!!! :)


End file.
